Opening Lines

1.    Hi, I need to return this shirt for a refund.

2.   Excuse me, I’m afraid I did not order a hot dog for dinner.

3.   Look, I know you hate this, but we need at least one good photo of you.

4.   Officer, would you please not give me a speeding ticket?

5.    Do you think our Mom would like the red one or blue one?

6.   I’m sorry, your suitcase will not fit in the overhead bin.

7.    So how would you tell your teacher she has bad breath?

8.   Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome today’s guest—(actors name)—an expert on how to organize your desk!

9.   Hey, my body killing me! Can’t we take a break from this workout?

10. If you don’t like the gift you can return it.

11.  Excuse me, I just dropped a $100 bill, did you find it?

12. There’s a possibility you may do jail time for this speeding ticket.

13. I’m not really crazy about those pants. Will you take them off please?

14. Why does it bother you if your friend dates your Ex you are married for 15 years with Kids?

15.  All you have to do is ask. The worst He/She can say is no!

16.  Why is it that you only eat at Mom & Pop restaurants?

17.  What do you mean you don’t date people with tatoos?

18.  How did you spend all the money you won in the lottery?

19.  I understand you were an eyewitness to the bank robbery. Tell me what you saw.

20. I’m really sorry we ran out of jumbo shrimp but why would you get that upset?

21.  Did you honestly think I wouldn’t notice that you ate my piece of chocolate cake?

22.  Wait, you’re wearing that to your job interview?

23.  Why are all of your clothes and shoes the same color?

24. I heard you’re in the Guinness Book of World records. What did you do?

25. My friend tells me you have a secret to share with me. Do tell!